Posted by: The Saffa Mom | April 17, 2012

Day 10 of the Honesty Blogging Challenge (snooping?)

Day 10 — The last time I snooped into something I wasn’t supposed to (like a medicine cabinet in a friend’s bathroom), I found…

I don’t really snoop these days (lol) because everyone seems to have the same stuff that everyone else does. I have never really had the opportunity of finding anything interesting that makes for news.

I have gone through the drawers of the people at my office. To be quite honest- I was starving that particular day, and searching for something that fitted into a drawer that I could eat. (To make matters not sound so dreadful, those work mates have eaten stuff out of my drawer!) Whole looking for food- yes, disgustingly enough, i was looking for something newsworthy. I never found food or news!

There is one thing that sticks out.

I believe  a cellphone to be quite personal. I would never go through someone’s cell phone unless something had happened. I wish my brother had had a cellphone before he died. Back then he told us it was stolen….I have reason to believe now that it had been pawned.

In the past little while every now and then I have caught myself going through my Knight’s phone and then ended up in a state.

I read tone into messages, I read relationships into girl boy conversations, and I assume that things are there when they are not. I go off the edge for a couple of minutes, scream and shout and ask why people seem to have a friendship when they shouldn’t, and then ignore my knight for a little while. Sounds pretty crazy right?

The fact is that I have trust issues. I come from a long line of relationships broken because of trust- all around. (My knight has been one to disappoint me in the past too, which I have forgiven but not forgotten.) I “unrealistically” expect my Knight not to have girl friends, colleagues or associations- while trying to build a great successful business.

The best thing for me to do is to not snoop, to realize that I also communicate with boys in my everyday life- work and friends, and to just let something be. If it is going to happen, make sure it is not because of me- right?

Day 09 — When the cashier gives me this amount of money for change I know it’s too much money to dump in the charity bucket…

I can honestly say that I have not seen one of those in a little while. When I do, I only ever put change into them. Not the change that can buy bread, but merely the cents that add up to the change that will buy bread.

Don’t get me wrong…. I am a giver. Just not into the tins. I don’t feel an urge from the Holy Spirit at that point. Perhaps I am so busy fussing over everything, that I ignore it at that point?

Most robots (traffic lights) around us have beggars, which I tend to give to. If I see the same beggar at the same robot day in and day out, I may not continue. Something very frowned upon is giving to people that sit at the robots with small children. Documentaries were done in South Africa based on the fact that many of these women were borrowing these children for the day. I don’t care if that is the case or isn’t- I still give.

I try to give with an open heart, and once it leaves my hands I can only hope that people do what they should do with that money. It is not my concern whether they will use the money to buy glue, drink, or smoke. If I really think about how a person gets through a day like that- I can understand why they perhaps do smoke or drink. I am not here to judge that.

I sponsor a student that is doing an IT course in Bloemfontein, in which I need to give him transport money, some food money and pay his course fees. At this point they cost more than my Princesses school fees. At this point in time, we can afford to do that. At this point in time I am praying that he will have the foundation he needs in order to find a job once graduated.

I also give to a Cheetah sanctuary every month. Right now, we can. So I do. It is not enough to keep them going- but it is something. It will contribute towards conserving these beautiful creatures that I so worry will not be here for very long. I want my grandchildren in time to experience animals the way in which we have. In Africa we are so blessed.

I am not all good. Lol. There are often times where it is too late and I am stuck wandering if I should have. I don’t give my church as much as I should, because I am “feeding” elsewhere. I often wander if God is happy with that.

Over the last half year of 2011, a person came to my office, he was in dire need and I gave some money to him. He lived in the bushes in a suburb not far from me. A large expanse of mountainous land between the houses.  He explained what had happened, and how he came to be there. (I ask questions.)

He came back a few days later, and once again I helped.

I then made sure I could guide him in the right direction the next time he came, as I had a feeling he would. I managed to put a pile of things together….. a bucket and soap, a number of tinned foods, and some clothes and blankets. I also did some research into shelters. I found out that it was next to impossible to actually get into one. The next best thing was to guide him to the Salvation Army which would not turn him away. I was stern and told him that I did not want to see him until he had set himself up there.

He came to me a few weeks later and expressed his thanks. I felt good for him. He then managed to find a job, but because he would only be paid at the end of the month, I had to help him with transport money until then, which I did. He absconded at work after a little while, while being incredibly sick. I gave him the paracetemol in my bag and some money to get to a clinic. It continued however, and I just got angry. Eventually I gave him some more money and told him I did not want to see him again. I felt terrible, but I just could no longer keep on giving.

He did manage to find a job handing out pamphlets- at the traffic light outside my office. Not being paid until the week was done, I gave him the food I had brought for lunch and some money everyday.

I haven’t seen him for a few weeks, and I do hope that he is okay.

I don’t know if I had the right attitude or not. I just feel that there is so much more that I need to be doing than concentrating on one individual.

A big part of me is hoping that God will guide me into a position that I can give all my time. I am not worrying too much about the little tins on the side of the cashiers pay points.

Posted by: The Saffa Mom | April 13, 2012

Day 8 of the Blogging Honesty Challenge (artwork?)

Day 08 — If I could afford it, the piece of famous artwork you would find in my home is…

Okay so the first artist that popped into my head was Picasso. I doubt that i am the only one. I love so many of his pieces. The boldness and the colours that he used.

In my last year of school, he was a great influence on my art. A number of years later when I met my first husband he was involved in helping with a theatre play on Picasso and his life. It was great.

The second piece of work I thought of was the Mona Lisa. It’s a classic that no one would ever even mistake. I would never have to justify why I had such an expensive piece of art in my home. I would never have to defend it.

I don’t always like to go with first or even second thought though.

I wanted to find someone else that I have often thought of and that also was an inspiration while I had a paint brush in my hand. I took art at school not because I was any good, but because I had always been taught that it was important to have a creative outlet. Something that took me away from school life. Something that allowed me to just express. I so wish I had the time now.

Salvador Dali.

I was in awe of his work. It was just so damn strange, and I always wondered what amount of drugs he may have been taking when putting so many pieces of work onto canvas.

I believe that most people would know whom they were done by, but a few that I really like are:

The Persistance of Memory (1931)

Swans reflecting Elephants (1937)

Metamorphosis of Narcissus (1937)

The Burning Giraffe (1937)

I managed to take all of these pictures while strolling through my house…. wink wink. Thank you Wikipedia for the pictures i have used. 

Posted by: The Saffa Mom | April 12, 2012

Day 7 of the Blogging Honesty Challenge (3 questions?)

Day 07 — I went to see a psychic, and was given the opportunity to ask three questions – I would ask…

The fact is that I don’t believe in psychics in the ordinary sense of the word. (That little gypsie on the side of the road with a sign outside stating that she will read your fortune. That is my picture of a medium.)

I believe the devil positions people strategically around us, and often those people play with your idea of a future or past. I do not believe that this is from God.

So for the sake of a peaceful soul, I would ask God those questions. (Perhaps God will see the post as somewhat of a prayer and find a way to give me those answers clearly.)

1. What direction should I be heading career wise?

2. Why did my brother commit suicide? What was going through his head at the time? Will I one day be reunited with him? Did he know how much I loved him?

3. Is my father happy?

Where do these questions come from? Did i make them up….. no don’t be a silly banana. Tom Baker did with a friend of his. See my introduction– if you haven’t yet, and then see day 1, day 2, day 3, day 4, day 5 and day 6

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