Posted by: The Saffa Mom | April 6, 2012

Day 4 of the Honesty Blogging Challenge (A blogger is all fantasy?)

Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…

First reaction- luckily I didn’t plan a holiday to meet her.

(I could imagine many Internet dating set ups to be just like that.)

I must be honest I would not feel too fussed though. I would have congratulated her on the wonderful fiction, and perhaps recommended that she write a book. Better yet- turn her blog into that book!

If I were to look a little deeper into it, perhaps her blog is everything that she wishes she was, is, or could have been. The same way in which we push our children to do the things we wish we had done; be the people we wish we were. Her blog could also be the part of her self that does everything without consequence. (We all wish we didn’t need to worry about consequences. We would be an adventurous bunch no doubt.)

The fact that she has told me means that she obviously values my opinion, and our friendship could be perceived as somewhat real. Perhaps she really does need someone to talk to and tell her real story too. I would not shut off to her. I would let her use that avenue for the need she has.

The thing about MY semi anonymous blog is that it is actually completely opposite. It is as honest as you will ever get. It is “me” on the table completely open to the world. Naked. I don’t worry about people finding me and judging what I have to say. No consequences. The people I meet here, read more about my true self than most of the people I know out there. Possibly a vey different friendship?

Not really ever book material though. Haha.

For those that are new to this please visit my introduction on the Blogging Honesty Challenge here, and see Day 1, Day 2 and Day 3. It has been good fun, so if you keen to join make your way over to Tom Baker’s site and sign up. Awesome way to meet new people! 


Today is Good Friday. A very special day in the Christian’s heart. Know that today Jesus gave His life for us! Awesome awesome feeling. Thank you Lord. xx



  1. I still can’t imagine how I will feel when this happens… I put to much into m relationships with people, so I would hate if someone has been lying to me for 5 years…

    • My attitude my be very different if it ACTUALLY happens. xx

  2. Online is not a life – not a real one. I think people say many things online when they don’t have to face someone eye ball to eye ball, or perhaps it is a place where you escape to a world you wish was yours. And yes, then there is many other aspects to it – helpful things (emotionally, spiritually, fun facts/learning, technical sources of information, humor, music, etc. etc.). The internet is like money – it depends on whose hands it’s in; you can feed and cloth a dying world with it, or destroy it with drugs, alcohol, sex, greed, possessions, power, etc. in selfishness. Some will say money is the root of all evil, and others lives will be changed for good forever with it – it’s still money, isn’t it, but in whose hands?

    I don’t look for deep, meaningful relationships online, so it is less important to me how real it is or not – I don’t believe everything I hear anyway. I like to think for myself. When I share my thoughts, though, I say what I really mean, or else I won’t say it, but faking it is not my niche, so if honest is not relevant or helpful or necessary – and it’s not pretty – then I leave it. We have to leave room for others to choose too. Life is a dance like that: one makes a move, and then so do others, and each one has the freedom to choose what move he will make or how he will respond to someone else’s move. Just don’t lose sight that someone will move again after you’ve moved – that is if you are someone who cares about relationships and consequences of your actions in it.

    Then I also have to admit, there are times when I don’t want to know other people’s honest. Sometimes it is necessary to just smile and wave from the river bank as it floats by. Not everything needs to be an issue in my life – or my issue – “keep your sh*t to yourself, thank you” is sometimes my preferred approach. If someone shares (whatever) on their blog, I can always choose to just not read it, instead of feeling betrayed or cheesed off for six months. Over what? Maybe some people lie on the net, and others lie to your face. The latter doesn’t make it any different. So decide how you’ll play whatever hand is dealt you – DANCE!

    Usually I’d say that’s my ten cents’ worth, but you were lucky today – you got a whole 10 bucks! ha-ha

    • Thanks for your ten bucks!!! Loved reading it. A agree with you 100% though. xx

  3. I think it is very possible to form a real friendship online and don’t see that it is not a real life as another commenter state (not dismissing how she feels). I think penpal as well as bloggers can form friendships that rival face to face friendships. There have been lot of different responses and I love the variety. From your other posts and comments on other blogs, I didn’t think she would bother you with the news.

    • I don’t know how to take that Tom. Haha. x

      • I would like the chance to rewrite my comment. I just reread it and it makes little sense to me. I hope you know what I was ‘trying’ to say. Sometimes I write while asleep I guess.

  4. You’re free to disagree, Tom 🙂 It also depends on how each person defines friendship. For me, online has not been reciprocal relationships; with the exception of one or two, it has been kind of like writing letters to your couch – rather unfulfilling – so I stopped. I have, however, seen many others who have had the complete opposite experience. Then I say: good on you! 🙂

  5. I totally agree, my anonymity here has led to a lot of honesty. They’re entirely different kinds of relationships and maybe the friend of 5 years was honest for 5 years about who they wanted to be instead? That’s a valid relationship too, I guess.

  6. For me, I guess it would be how they went about telling me. 5 years is a long time if you think about it. If ALL I knew was fake/fantasy that is not friendship. It would seem to be all about them.
    The friendships I have made through blogging are also personal to me. Just like my face to face relationships. I have done my best to be honest without being hurtful and apologize if I do or even feel I have. I try to be real and lift some one up if I can. My heart goes out to them when they are in pain, be it emotional or physical. I want to help, even just to let them know I care. I also try to have fun and keep things light.
    I feel I could visit some friends I have made and would welcome them into my home.
    Someone who has been fake/fantasial for 5 years hasn’t been real, almost a diva complex. But again, how and why do they finally come clean and what is in that message? That may be what really counts.

    If my South African girl friend were to walk through my door, her beauty would turn me into a blathering idiot! She would most likely run away horrified and dumb-founded. If I remembered to shut the door I’d be banging my head against it until my neck ceased to exist!

    • ~Harold you have me in stitches every time i read your comments. thank you! xx

  7. Have a good Easter weekend! Yeah I didn’t even think of that, good thing you didn’t plan to meet her, that may have been awkward ha-ha

  8. I agree with Tom. I met twitter people and bloggers that are now good friends. One of them became my sweet love. 🙂

    • Really? thats awesome. xx

      • Yep. 🙂 Just use common sense and you won’t be disappointed. 🙂

  9. Wow, this is a hard one. Five years is a long time. You build friendships just like they are standing in front of you. I mean, what if they were pretending to be a woman and they have been a 16 year old boy.Heck, I could run through all kinds of scenarios. I think in the end it depends on what the anonymous person was posting and the exchange made with that person. I really don’t know what I would do.

    • Okay V- you have brought a much bigger picture to mind. I may not have minded too much- but if Harold ended up being a 90 year old woman, I would perhaps feel a bit odd. Haha. xx

  10. […] do visit Tom Baker’s Blog,and my Introduction Post, as well as Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, and Day 4′s questions (which were much cleaner- lol). I am a little behind, but still writing. x Who can we […]

  11. […] a friend of his. See my introduction- if you haven’t yet, and then see day 1, day 2, day 3, day 4, day 5 and day 6.  Who can we share this with:EmailDiggPrintFacebookStumbleUponRedditTwitterLike […]

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