Posted by: The Edmonton Tourist | January 26, 2012

I Won Again? I Must be Dying and No one Told me.

Introducing my beautiful blogger friend The Edmonton Tourist.

(For those who havebeen anticipating this- here is Ed’s guest post. For those new to my blog- Ed won a competition for her creativity. For both of you- pop past her blog. She was one of the first I ever subscribed to, and I am grateful that I did.) 

I think the Universe feels sorry for me. Here it is the end of January and I have won not one but TWO WordPress contests! Midnite Chef tells me I won a cookie press. I have no idea what that is, nor have I even seen one in action! As soon as it arrives in my mailbox I am giving it a go!! Then I enter another contest to Name That Blog right here on Bokkie’s sight. I write down the first thing that pops into my head that has NOTHING to do with coffee or diamonds and TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I wake up to discover my entry was the lucky one! Yay Me!!

My sudden good fortune worries me. Yes I am a worrier by nature, ask anyone. If I am not worrying about you, then I am worrying about my kids, or my class or my shoes or my winter tires or my squatter cat The Ginge (he moved under my front step 2 years ago and has never left). The chances of ME having good fortune is a little bit unbelievable for me, although I am not as bad off as my brother. When we went to the church breakfast, there was chewed gum in his cup of juice. When we went to a restaurant for brunch, there were ants in his jam. When we went out for ice cream there was a grasshopper in his cone. He is ALWAYS the lucky one to find that stray hair in his meal at restaurants. True Story.

I am not nearly as Unlucky as him, but I rarely win anything. Grade one I won the math contest. I was the Teachers Pet in Yellowknife (located in Canada’s Arctic) circa 1973. I was the only kid who came to school everyday. I was also the only white kid. My Dad was a teacher and my mom the school secretary. The other kids in the class were always “in the bush” hunting or fishing. Of COURSE I am going to win. I was the only one there!!! That hardly counts as lucky.

I won Helen Reddy tickets on a snowy blizzardy day. I needed to drive across town and pick them up during rush hour. On my way back home I saw a giant I beam laying in the middle of the freeway. A car hit it, spun in circles hitting another car that rammed me into the concrete barrier that kept me from dropping into the frozen creek below. I wasn’t even a Helen Reddy fan, I tried to win them for my mom. What did I get for my troubles? A car that was a write off. Awesome.

I won The Who tickets a few years ago. I love the Who. The DJ played a voice snippet of a comedy act and asked whose voice it was. Easy – Tommy Smothers. My dad worshiped him. I guess correctly and won the tickets. Could I go? Not a chance. I gave them to friends who could and they gave me staples as a thanks… thanks.

That is why I think I am dying. Nothing bad has happened to me since winning. Either Bokkie knows something I don’t OR the Mayan calendar thingy is true. Secretly I don’t believe the Mayan calender. I think the rest of the world hasn’t a clue. Here is what Mayan Calendar Predictions says:

December 21, 2012 is the end of the grand cycle according to the Mayan calendar. It is the end of the 13th Baktun and 13th Ahau, a 5200 year cycle that is ending in our lifetimes. Exciting times from my perspective. It is the day that the calendar ends. There is no record for the sun to arise the next day. Does this mean the end of humanity?

Ummmm…no. Obviously in Canada on December 21, 2012 – THERE IS NO SUN PEOPLE! ( well in the Arctic, the rest of Canada it is just REALLY DARK for a big part of the day). December 21 is Winter Solstice. The LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR. Maybe the rest of the world is done for, but us Canadians will be fine. We are use to dark in December. Therefore, be safe and move to Canada. Clearly Canadians are the chosen ones.

OR

I am dying and my mom called Bokkie to tell her and she feels sorry for me so she let me win. That way I die happy knowing my entry was chosen for this blog’s title making me famous known to Harold. Then as soon as I am done for, the lights go dim while Bokkie changes the title to some little snappy number Harold or Steve thought up. That way I will never know… alas… it must be true. I wonder how much longer I have. Should I bother buying new socks? I need them badly, but is it worth it if I am about to be snuffed out? Maybe I should not bother going to work. I do not want to spend my last days as a preschool teacher cleaning sneeze spray off my glasses or scraping playdough out of my hair. I am going to stop running too. I’d rather lay on the couch watching my future ex husband George Clooney Tourist run around naked in Solaris.

OR

realize that my good fortune is changing and I am next on the list for the Lotto Max – it is 50 million on Friday. That must be it…I am WINNING the Lotto Max! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! About time too…

This is what I think the Mayan Calender Really means

That is what I am looking forward to. Maybe I can win tickets! Stay warm and keep your stick on the ice!

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Responses

  1. Chewed gum… ants?… grasshoppers…? EEEEEEUUUUUW! May I never be that unlucky! 😀 A bit of winning is quite in order then, isn’t it? 😉 (Thanks for sharing, bokkie 🙂 )

    • I agree! Keeping the rabbits foot handy for the Lotto Max on Friday 🙂

      • Make sure that i share that with you. Would you like some numbers?
        xx

      • 13 and 28!

  2. […] see the results of my winnings….click here. It the prize was a virtual trip to South Africa. Very Cool! Unlucky […]

  3. I saw a comic that had the Mayan calender maker coming in and saying he ran out of space. His wife then says that will freak someone out some day! So maybe there is another undiscovered calender that starts up again Dec. 22?
    My bad luck was like your brothers once. Doing plumbing at a restaurant the owner gave us glasses of coke to drink. I finish mine and look into the glass to find a dead cockroach!
    Good luck, I won a baseball bat, ball and glove at a mall opening. Everyone else was winning jewelry or other more expensive stuff. But I won something.

    I have learned not to hold a contest on your blog when just starting up. I had nobody reading that could guess! Therefore no winners.

    You are too cool to be dying Ed! Live long and blog!

    • I would have died on the spot with a cockroach in my glass!!!And wouldn’t you’d rather have a ball and glove? Not me but I like sparkly things, yet I would have been thrilled with the ball and glove! just like when you catch a ball at a game! It is like winning 🙂
      I can’t remember the last time I was called cool Harold…I don’t think I ever have been called cool… Thanks Harold! You made my day 🙂

      • Harold tends to make everyone’s day- hey Harold?
        I agree about the glove, ball and bat. The jewellery was probably all plated anyway.
        Glad that Harold likes you Ed!
        xx

  4. […] thought with all of this luck I was having it would be an appropriate post after Ed’s post yesterday. (Perhaps Ed can pretend she was the one that had seen all of these Ed- for today’s […]

  5. […] New! I am not dead! The typical foreboding nature of my winning streak didn’t kill me. How do I know? Quite frankly there are lots of reasons. My legs hurt for one. […]

  6. Brilliantly funny 😛 Maybe the Mayans were foretelling the coming of Middle Earth, I should look for a ring, or maybe a sword to defend against Orcs.
    xxx

    • ummmm Ya, that’s it Chef… (psssst Bokkie, Chef has gone coocoobanana head) 😉


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