Posted by: The Saffa Mom | November 24, 2011

That moment EVERYTHING changed….

4:26 am. Saturday morning 27th August 2011.

I had become a part of a secret society a few hours earlier and was just about to find out. I was tossing and turning after an amazing night with James Blunt. I was battling to sleep. Perhaps my body was in tune? My phone rang. Panic. Must be the wrong number.  

“Kelly speaking, hello.”

I remember the moment, I remember the words, but I don’t remember the exact flow of it all.

Colonel; your brother; Douglasdale Police Station; drunk; holding cell; suicide.

There are moments in your life that you just finding yourself begging God for it all to just be a dream. This was one of them. God please tell me this isn’t real. Tell me I am dreaming. I will wake up and know that everything is okay.  

Colonel Swart was his name. Although I asked him 4 or 5 times during that call, I never actually got it.

That day my brother not only took his own life, he took a piece of mine.

On the 27th November 2011, God never woke me up, or told me I was dreaming. 



  1. Man-Man Kelly, I have been wondering where you have been, I have not seen you in so long. Now I hear of your sad plight, and my heart just goes out to you girl, I am so sorry this has happened.

    Take care,


    • Thank you Don. I think it will be sad for a long time. If I didn’t have God, I don’t quite know where I would be. With Him I manage to find so much that I am so incredibly grateful for.

  2. I am sorry, Hon.

    • Me too girl. There is not really much else anyone can say. Xxxx

      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

  3. Been missing you. Then your back with a night high to a morning low. So sorry to hear about your brother. Wishing I could put on some eagle wings and fly to you and give you a great big hug.
    Trusting in God’s peace and comfort for you. Though we may not understand until we meet Him. You are in my prayers Kelly.

    • Harold- thank you! That was exactly how those ten hours went. Such a high to such a low. Today is my last post about the event. A part of healing i think. xx

  4. As you said, not much I can say, but… thinking of you. So so sorry! 😦

    • Thank you Steve! Thats all i need. Thoughts and prayers. God is my rock, and i am comfrted by the fact that our time here is not forever. xx

  5. […] Today my baby brother would have turned 23. So sad to realize how short his life had actually been. […]

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