Posted by: The Saffa Mom | March 8, 2011

“I am married- today mom, and Devlan is now my cousin.”

After yesterday afternoon, I felt that the blog I wrote last week-  “Going to Marry Devlan today- forever!” -my 4 year old this morning” , would need a follow up posted- TODAY!!!

(You should really make sure you read the first post, before you carry on here….. This is quick and not well edited, but hopefully you enjoy it. I am rushing here! Have lots of blogger reading to catch up on.)

The afternoon of Thursday (the day that my baby girl was to apparently wed), on the way home I asked My Princess how her “day was? How was Devlan? Did he like your dress?”

“He pushed me. (PAUSE)  He didn’t say anything about my dress, (PAUSE) and he pushed me. (PAUSE)  And I wanted to tell the teacher, but I didn’t”. (A little heart sore for my baby girl.)

“Well my babe, boys are ugly. I am sorry. Next time- push him back! Don’t worry yourself about boys anymore.” (Yah!!!!)

“But mom, I like Devlan.” (Not so YAH!!!)

I changed the subject because I really didn’t know how to convince a four year old that her whole life was ahead of her to worry about boys. And that they really are a pains in the butt most times. That she should just enjoy her friends and her time.

She cannot comprehend any of that! Her life has been made up of four a half years. What is forever?

So Friday comes and goes, Saturday comes and goes and then Sunday comes and goes.

Monday morning….yesterday…. she wants to wear her princess dress again. (Missing the tiara, because someone broke that in half! Probably Devlan.)

On the way to school she spoke about being a princess and how she is one! (She was very sure when she said that.) I just let her ramble away. Then:

“Mom, Devlan says I am not a princess.”

What a little prick!!! She already is falling for the biggest asshole in the school.

We all do that! Why?

“Well my babe, you not really a princess. You are a PRETEND Princess.”

“But mom, I am!!!”

“We don’t have a castle. Princesses have castles.”

“But mom, I want to be a princess!”

“We all do my babe, we all do.” (I was very sure of this!)

Monday afternoon, her dad drops her off at my office and the very first thing she says is:

“I kissed Devlan, and Devlan kissed me!!! (PAUSE) And mom he has no teeth.”

Her dad does not seem to fussed. I am! My four year old really seems to like a boy………. which she really shouldn’t.

“My babe, you shouldn’t kiss boys. It is ugly.”

DAMMIT man, what else am I suppose to say at that exact moment? He was the guy who pushed her away when she tried to look pretty for him. He was teh guy that tore at her self esteem. He was the bad boy!! Never mind the fact that I dont really want my littel angel touching anybody else’s lips!!! 

“But mom, we married now. (PAUSE) And he is now my cousin.”

Ummmmmmm????? Not quite my babe.

“It is just pretend mom!!!”

Silly billy mom!!! (Right?)

(But apparently the kiss on the lips wasn’t!!!!)

Let’s move forward a couple of hours…..

My Princess spills the beans over dinner with My Knight. I was not actually there, but later on he filled me in. I presume at that stage he said nothing. Keep in mind that Knight is not Princesses father. He will never have the same love. I understand that, although I wish it was different. He still battles with her, and the patience that arrives as soon as you give birth, has not been inherited by him. He appreciates the time that she spends with her dad. That I know. BUT they have formed their own little bond. Lots of boundaries and rules, and not as much affection. I can never say “I understand”, because I don’t. Just as he may never understand how much you truly love your kids until you have them.

Let’s move forward to a few minutes before we move off to her bedroom to start our bedtime routine. You know-  the story, then the count, and then the “lie with me for a few minutes”, and then the “mom?” “mom?” “yes my babe?” “please come here, I need to tell you something.” It is the same every single night.   

My knight looks My princess in the eyes and says:

“If I hear that you have kissed Devlan again, I will come there and Smack his bum so hard! And then I will smack your bum so hard! You do not kiss boys. You stay away from boys, and you play with your girl friends. Do you understand me?”

She stared at him, I think a little shell shocked and just nodded.

I don’t quite know if he handled this well. I worry that a chain of communication has been broken. I really am so unsure.

Lying in bed with her, I ask her if she understands why Knight has said all of this.

Her response:

“But mom, he is my boyfriend. (PAUSE) And I love him mom.


I could not help but giggle. It was cute, adorable, and gorgeous!!!! If it was coming from someone else’s child!!!!

Anyone have any real advice?




  1. mmm … not sure if I can offer advice, never had an episode like that when mine was that age. However, now – on the verge of 13 – she’s proving to be a bit of a boy-chaser 😦

    • You not exciting me. Getting scared actually. Xx

  2. I only met my daughters mother in law on the 26 Jan (at the birthday party) and they were “married” for a full year….mmmm if they only knew

  3. Ah, those were the days. My first girlfriend was in kindergarten. Next one wasn’t until 3rd grade…sigh. We live, we love, we move on.

    Hopefully just a cute stage she is going through (and it is so real and forever). But the kissing, I would gently tell her that a princess has to wait. Part of being a princess thing. Most of my kids (boys and girls) were told by someone that they would get married. It passed. There wasn’t a kissing problem though.

    She is too cute! I can imagine you driving and sitting with her trying to suppress your giggles. 🙂 Then later the “frustration” as you think it over. Don’t worry too much.

    My oldest son went to college and met again a girl he knew when they were young and she remembered she had said they would get married. So you never know! But nothing in the works there…yet?

    • What you imagine is exactly how it goes!
      Good advice. Going to try it. X

  4. Dunno actually bokkie.
    Our boys have girl ‘friends’ but we’ve played down the girlfriend thing – telling them they don’t have to worry about all that stuff until they’re (and girl) 16. I’d just play it cool I think, not make a big deal, just listen to what she has to say. Write it down somewhere so she can see you’ve taken it seriously and then not say anything else?

    • Thanks for that. So many others have also said that I shoudl listen and not comment. Leave it unless she wants to speak to me about it all. Let’s see how it goes….

  5. Which is more precious, the adorable little girl, or her mom’s reaction? I think Knight did OK on this — not to worry about long-term effects on communication. All-in-all though, I think your initial reaction was closest to succinct and eloquent wisdom– WTF?!?!? 😉 Libby Frattino was always trying to kiss me in kindergarten. Alas, it didn’t work out, but so far as I know, we both turned out O.K.! Relax ~

    • Do you really think you turned out o.k.? Only joking……
      Don’t you know by now that i am filled with eloquent wisdom…… sometimes i wish!!!
      But perhaps i am over reacting a little…. promise to keep you all updated.
      Here is hoping i guide my little girl in the right direction constantly.

  6. […] Girl Boy stuff… I think most of you know the concern I had when I discovered that my 4 year old princess was marrying a prince called Devlan, and was going to love him forever. (Her words!) Oh and boy did she confess her love to me. The thought of her running after a boy playing kissing catches was a bit too much for my hardened exterior. Read about it here and then again here. […]

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