Posted by: The Saffa Mom | January 27, 2011

Winning because you deserve it? Not these days….

A couple of days ago, one of my bbm contacts (Blackberry Messenger Contacts for all those avid Iphone users!) broadcasted a message to everyone on her Blackberry contact list. Simple and easy enough to do.

The fact is that I have not actually been real friends with this girl for more than 15 years, however we were good friends once. If you ever read my post about the setting a fire on the way home from school…… this was her. Just like we all do with all our Facebook contacts, we keep in “cyber-space-touch”. We communicate about traffic, roadblocks and ballet lessons that our girls are going to. We don’t do dinner or coffee. BUT we all (BBM CONTACTS) watched her get married, read all the comments and were all able to see all those photos of the Island wedding she celebrated in Mauritius in December. (BBM can really be an awesome tool.)    

So back to story- She Broadcasts a message to all.

I briefed it- did not give it too much attention….. okay not being honest enough. I actually viewed it as spam, and completely ignored it.

It went something along these lines:

“Hi all my dear close friends that I long to be with, but just can’t manage to find the time to spare between manicures, pedicures and managing my husband’s pest control business. I have entered a competition, because that is what all newly married people do, and obviously I would like to win, and be crowned the most beautiful bride under the sun, or at least in the south of Johannesburg. My husband will then realise what he has, even though we have already been together for 6 years and share two kids. The vouchers for 10% off of some of the restaurants will be awesome, although they are approximately 100 kms from where we live. As far as I can remember we will also win a basket full of beautiful soaps and foam baths that I believe they put in some of the best hotels in Portugal. The photos and certificates can be pasted all over our home, so even though one day we will be old and ugly- people will believe us when we say that we used to be young and beautiful. The barrel that my husband now has will resemble a six pack in forty years time, and my tanned skin will at least not look like leather.  So- I need you to please all log onto http: …… wtf…….long freaking link………. need to copy and paste this. I will need you to register as a user, they will ask you about 25 questions, determining what your favourite restaurants are, and where you like to go on holiday. I think there may be a question regarding the toilet paper you use- so please check when you are home tonight. Once they have sent you a confirmation email, please follow the link and “like” the specific group that is for “WIFE’s THAT DID THINGS THE WRONG WAY AROUND, AND MANAGED TO SURVIVE.”(My hat goes off to all those ladies- I did it all the right way, and messed it up!) Once you have “liked” that specific group it will allow you to view the 2000 photos of the ladies that have entered. To make things easy I am number 1457. Please go to that photo and vote for me. I would appreciate it if you could try and do this each ten times. It will not cost a cent. Thanks guys”

(Please remember I said “something along these lines”….. perhaps I have twisted it somewhat).

SPAM! Or was I too harsh?

That same message went onto Facebook and was sent to everyone via direct messages on twitter.

I proceeded to ignore it.

THEN this was posted on everything again  a few days later (this time not changing any words):

“Guys, I can see who has voted and who has not voted. So please go and vote.”

Or what???

Or we won’t be in cyber touch anymore? We won’t go for imaginary coffee, and you definitely won’t be included in the group that details every part of my wedding and honeymoon ever again! I will take you off the list of traffic updates, and if I do see you in the supermarket, will completely ignore you.


This leads me to question:

What happened to the days of entering a competition and winning because you really had all the talent? Or you really were the most beautiful? Or the cleverest? Or the freaking luckiest?

Would that CROWINING GLORY not feel so much greater than declaring a WIN because everyone we know spent four hours on the internet competing with time to get as many votes in! (We won’t tell anyone that.)



  1. Eish, bokkie! No pressure, or anything …. do you actually have a choice in this matter? Good luck with this one!
    Sunshine xx

    • Sunshine, i made my choice when i got the second message. So- i havent voted. I still believe that people must win because of being winners…. not because their family spend thousands of rands smsing their votes in.
      Just to add- I did see her for a few minutes at Princess’s ballet today, and she was fine. No mention. We literally had a quick two minute conversation, more than anything about why i was dragging Logan to ballet, and not my mom.
      Thaks for the luck though- will use it somewhere else.

  2. During the first line I am like, okay what do you want. 10 votes? everyone should just get one! Then it is fair. ONLY 25 questions?! Sign up? How much spam am I gonna get out of this too? Then she knows who’s been “good or bad” A little tmi for me. Long lost friend is watching you! All a little too egotistical for me and maybe she has something to worry about presently for the future. I probably would not participate either.

    I finally found how to change my login! 🙂 Now it is just me, unless I want to change it to something more cryptic.

    • It all comes down to winning because you really deserve to win.
      PS. Have no idea what you are talkig about regarding your login?

      • From haroldwoodcrafting to just Harold. Doesn’t have my full blog. From your blogging etiquette blog. Now I am more etiquettable? Made that up! 🙂

  3. The double dare may have required u to vote, but she didn’t say doube DOG dare, so u have no obligation.

    • Teh double daring was actually me! Haha. I was double daing her to never speak to me again! As if…..
      Did see her for a few minutes at ballet lessons yesterday, and she was fine. So i am sure she hasn’t taken it to heart.\

  4. Bbbwwwhahahahaha – so true

  5. I have asked FB friends to vote for a recipe on Food52 that I entered, but I had not realized that I wasn’t in the finals so nobody could have voted anyways. Dummy me.
    As for cyber-friend-from-high-school, it prize doesn’t sound all that great, I mean if she would win a trip to BFE then there might be a smidge or reason for pleading everybody to vote. If she does win, do you get some Portuguese Hotel soap in return? Will she take you for a REAL coffee at 10% off for the two of you?

    • But midnite chef, how does everyone know that is the best recipe if they havent tried the others? That is just my whole point…… we need to get back to the days where the judges decide…. Then the wealth and friends that a person has no longer matter. It is all about the talent.
      To be honest, i was exagerrating somewhat about the prizes…. but I am positive they are not really any better.

      • Whatever the prize actually was doesn’t matter 😛 She probably was surfing, saw the ad for the contest, and in a tizzy of excitement thought she could actually win. I’ll bet the other 2014 people thought the same thing!

  6. haha that’s wrong on so many levels. I would not vote for her, even if you can’t have cyber coffee anymore. hehe this was a fab post! 😉


  7. That’s totally the trend these days, isn’t it? Win a contest because you can harass enough people into a pity vote. Weird times! What happened to winning because you wrote the best essay or took the best photo? I commend you for your voting abstinence, even knowing your BBM friend would see you abstained. 🙂

    • I am the BIGGER person!!!
      And that was the perfect word- everyone is harrassed into voting!

  8. Pffft 😦
    I wouldn’t have voted either.

    • Thanks for that vote of confidence!

  9. No vote from me either. How incredibly immature, and how awful that she even thought this was OK.
    I’ll bet she’s a Childish Parent too…
    Be well.

    • Thanks Kloppenmum.
      What is even more sad is taht she was merley an example. Her actions are actually a trend! Unfortunately she just happened to be the cherry on teh top. Next time i think i might actually respond and state that I can not vote for you, if i havent seen the competition. Convinced that wont go down well.

      • At least that’s better than saying, “No I can’t because you are an idiot”, which is what I would want to say!

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