Posted by: The Saffa Mom | January 20, 2011

It’s a two minute cuddle.

This week, every morning, my princess has very adamantly stated that she DOES NOT want to go to school. She does not really have a choice in the matter, and so- yes- she goes to school. Keep in mind, it is all a new thing and I am positive that over the next few weeks, her mindset will change and she will become excited about the fact that we “are going to school”. (Or at least that is what I am hoping…)

This morning I arrived at work, and just burst into tears. (In fact, for the second time- the first being in the car on the way.) I felt like the worst mom in the whole wide world.

I left my Princess’s school with her in tears, sobbing, clinging onto me and begging me to stay.

Her teacher, perhaps a little too hard, completely ignored her while continuing with her class.

Yes, yes- I realise that she may think that this will become the norm and that she does not want other children thinking that they can try the same thing. HOWEVER, a two minute cuddle- over and done with- will often be far easier than a heart broken kid believing that her mom is actually the enemy!

She is 4- not 16! Would it not passify the whole class to see a little love?

This is not what I thought about blogging about today….. but it is what you get. Forgive me but my head is not thinking straight.



  1. Shame, I really feel for you 😦

    • Ahhhhh… She needs to deal with it, and so do i. Unfortunately I wont be able to choose all the people that will guide her through life. So maybe good idea that she learns that there are some harsh people out there- now versus being 12 years old.
      Really looking forward to seeing her this afternoon though.

  2. When she gets a little older (not sure if this will work at 4), but when mine try the not wanting to go to school thing…I just tell them that I will go to school for them if they will go to work for me….they back out real quick…LOL

    • Wont work now- she loves coming to my office. And she believes that her colouring at my table- is work! haha. BUT i will remember this for later years.

  3. I have been on both sides. The pain and anxiety as the mom, and the knowing as the teacher. As the teacher I can offer you this, experience shows the teacher a cuddle is not needed because the tears are for your benefit. They stop when you leave. Harsh I know. But I promise you, as soon as princess cannot not see you, the tears end and her day begins. The teacher does not cuddle because this transition does not want to be rewarded. It takes about two weeks. Hang in there. As a parent who went through the same thing as you- I know how painful it is. I know the parent needs the cuddle more than the child. Children take the cue from the parent. She picks up on those feelings. It gets better.

    • Thank you Ed!
      In fact, this morning was good! The teacher happened to be in the parking lot, and Logan and her had a little good morning chat, and went inside together.
      How long have you been teaching?

  4. I know I know I KNOW my dear! Big Brother didn’t want to get out of the car this morning because he was up late last night (well, so was I). I felt horrible to have to drag him to day care, knowing he’s cranky and tired.

    If you are comfortable with the teacher, the child is comfortable staying with the teacher. I absolutely love my sitter, she is the best one I’ve had so far. Lucky I guess. But Big Bro starts real school in August, kindergarten. That means new environment, new teachers, new kids and me freaking out all over again.

    You said Princess’ step sister is also in the same class? Have they ever socialized outside of school? How does meany-sis treat her? I thought about this the other day.

    Keep your chin up, friend 🙂

    • I think that is the thing- it is all new to her. So she needs to find her place, and realise that the rules here are very different to the rules of where she has come from. This morning was a good morning- so hopefully it just get’s better.
      Yes- her step sister is in the same class…. they spend time together when Logan goes to her dad, depending on whether her step is at her dad or not. (Sounds like a big bag of bagagge hey?) Obviously i have never seen them together, and so have to take the cues from what she tells me. 4 year olds do not really talk much about their days- I am sure you know. So i actually dont know how they are with each other.
      Chin is up!!! Getting ready to start groing into a double for tomorrow!!! Haha.

  5. I hate those days! My oldest just transitioned out of her 2’s room and into the preschool of her daycare. She hates going to her new class (all of her besties were in her old one) and I usually loiter for a few minutes to make sure she adjusts. I know the teachers don’t like that, but as a mom, it is absolute torture to watch your kid go through that kind of separation anxiety. It literally feels like your heart is on your sleeve. Fortunately both of my kids like to eat and the kids eat breakfast right after drop-off (well, breakfast #2. Breakfast #1 is at home)…so I distract them with food and it usually works.

    Hope she adjusts soon. 🙂

    • Ah thanks for coming!
      Today was a good day! Hoepfully they all continue in that direction.

  6. Yeah, it is tough with those big crocodile tears streaming…and your daughter’s as well 🙂 but kids are stronger and more independent than we want them to be sometimes. Just enjoy these moments now before they turn into the kids that can’t wait to get out of the house.

    • You are a hundred percent correct- they are quite able to do their own thing. We just battle to comprehend that.
      Today was a good morning for her…… so let’s hope it continues.

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