Posted by: The Saffa Mom | November 30, 2010

The Lessons we learn…or perhaps should learn.

Before you read on, i want to express my utmost frustration with my blog today. I literally spent the last hour uploading beautiful ticks and crosses, changing the words around, and adding colour. It looked beautiful!!!! AND THEN I had no control and it all went crash, boom, bang. It was so much nicer then it is now…. but i really need to get back to life. So here goes…second best…. and let me count!!!

I read a blog in which Erica Diamond documented something her mother had once sent her. She was grateful to her mom, and perhaps I am grateful to Erica……

This was written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more”

This was really the first time I read it, and decided that I think it is a good idea for me to look at- seriously- “how well am I doing!!!!” How well are you doing? Let’s be honest about this… I have been!!

Leaves room for serious improvement…. and learning.   

To add a little colour: here is my “yes” and my “no”. Second best….





  1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

 It’s up and down…..and if we really look at it, we most often bring the “downs”. We cannot control people, but we can control the way in which we handle those people…. because it is generally people that make it unfair. BUT REMEMBER- it is generally people that make it good too. (TICK)

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

 If you just sit, then you are no longer moving. Baby steps. Any direction is still positive. (TICK)  

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

It takes more emotional strain on the HATER, then it does on the HATED. I have had to learn this very recently, through those “baby steps”, and so much prayer. (TICK)  

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

I battle with this one. (CROSS) I tend to think that if I am unable to work, I am unable to have my family. It is about finding the balance here. One of my really special friends recently said to me: “better bread and love, then lamb and hate”.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

 (CROSS) But at least I realize it and am not in denial. (It’s perhaps why I work so hard….haha!)

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

(CROSS) I battle to be wrong. I battle to walk away and think that that person thinks that I am wrong. I am a smart bokkie…….and you need to realize that. Do you see why I am battling?   

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

 (TICK) and (CROSS). I am very fussy about my “someone”, and sometimes they just can’t be there when I need to cry!!

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

 (TICK) Oh and how many times…and not just ANGRY, but frustrated and sad.. BUT I realize that He has a plan!! And I am a part of that perfect plan.  

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

 (CROSS) There always seems to be something more important…. like getting my business off the ground!! I guess I have a dream that our business will do well enough- TO BE OUR RETIREMENT.  To be even more honest, my parents built up a beautiful portfolio of property over the last 10 years, and I took for granted that would be our retirement one day. (In the last year, that plan has changed so drastically, it has all disappeared.)

10.  When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

 (TICK) There really is no point. So I have moved onto Dark Chocolate, which I have heard is healthier. AND I have allowed myself to have a “little” everyday!!! Instead of craving so badly that I end up binging on slabs and slabs.

11.  Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

 (TICK) This is done through prayer and counseling. You cannot do this alone!! You will carry bondage and baggage with you into every relationship you have.   

12.  It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

 (CROSS) When princess sees me cry, she so desperately wants to fix whatever has made me sad. It make me even more sad that she can’t. I am her pillar, her strength, and her “monster killer”….. how could I possibly break down with such high expectations?  

13.  Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

 (TICK) and in fact maybe a (CROSS). I try to see a situation from all sides, however sometimes I just want to use logical decision making… and end up frustrated.

14.  If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

 (TICK) Been there, got the t-shirt and hurt many people in the process. Would not change it however, as how would I have learnt this lesson so clearly. (Silver lining).

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry, God never blinks.

(TICK) And you just need to keep on stepping!!!

16.  Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

 (TICK) I dont only breath…..I count. Sometimes aloud. Then all the people around realize that they better calm down too. HAHA.

17.  Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

 (TICK) I am not a hoarder, however it has meant that many areas in our home feel empty. I want to fill them with things that will overall cause some warmth. Alone they may however not seem useful, beautiful or joyful…………but together they may cause warmth? So maybe this is turning into a (CROSS)?  

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

(TICK) Whether it is your immune system strengthening, or your mind!! You are growing and getting stronger ALWAYS!

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

(CROSS) I don’t really know where to start with this one??? Help????

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

(CROSS) Sometimes LIFE doesn’t give you the time or the money to do what you love. If I could I would read books all day long, and BLOG for you all!!!

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

(TICK) What can I say, I like nice things…. and tomorrow they may be gone! Or I may be! (But don’t think so…..God wants me to be a blogger!!!)

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

(TICK) and a (CROSS) I try desperately to do this in the kitchen, and while packing for a trip!!! Over prepare for everything that could happen….just in case it does. Wish I could look at every area, and do the same.  

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

(TICK) I don’t think purple is eccentric!!!

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

(TICK) It really has an “on” and “off” switch.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

(TICK) Just because we are in charge though, doesn’t mean we are good at it!!! I think our biggest problem is not knowing what will make us happy, or what we would like. Once we know that- we can take those “baby steps”.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

(CROSS) I look at every “disaster” and analyse how my perfect-life-to-be has been destroyed!!

27. Always choose life.

(TICK) There is a reason why you are here!!! Find it!

28. Forgive everyone for everything.

(TICK) and (CROSS) Everyone???? Yes, everyone!!!

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

(CROSS) Of course it is my business!!! It is about me! In fact, I have recently decided that I am going to get one of those secret pen like video cameras…… leave it on the table when I leave a certain setting, off to the bathroom I go….. and wait- a few hours later “you said what?”

But life would be a lot easier if I did actually get number 29.  

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

(TICK) Also not easy…..but very very true. All I have to look at is how many times my heart has been broken! At that point it was all over! How was I to go on? And here we sit.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

(TICK) Change is inevitable. Change is consistent.  The only things that do not change are death and taxes!!!

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

(CROSS) Maybe this is where that second childhood comes in? Number 19.

33. Believe in miracles.

(TICK) If you believe in God, then you will believe in miracles!! We take the little things for granted….. my princess is a miracle!!! And the fact that she can be such a brat at times, and still be alive- is a miracle!!!  

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

(TICK) We are merely human and therefore every single day- we will do SOMETHING wrong. God’s grace and mercy will pull us out of any situation.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

(CROSS) I would say that THIS could be classified as an Audit?

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

(CROSS) I don’t want to be old. I don’t want to rely on people, or feel like a burden. The question is, what is “young”?

37. Your children get only one childhood.

(TICK) You need to infatuate them with love from every angle during that childhood. That is the most important thing for any child….. see it as sowing a seed.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

(TICK) Number 37……!!!

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

(TICK) I look out of my french bedroom doors onto the grass every day, I see the sheep playing (who would have guessed how playful sheep could really be). I see the goats finding cunning ways of getting to the pig’s food. Looking out onto that green beautiful view, with the blue sky in the distance is my miracle-wake-up every morning. And then I see that beautiful smile, and I know that there are miracles!!!

(How soppy is that?)  

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

(TICK) We all experience LIFE. Everyone of us!!

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

(CROSS) I think that by being envious, we are able to set new goals and dreams…..we should not want someone else’s though. (And that is perhaps more the point).

42. The best is yet to come….

(TICK) If it wasn’t, what is the point!!!

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

(TICK) Never go back on your word, or a previously confirmed arrangement. Don’t let people down!! Eventually they will stop asking. Always be RELIABLE.

44. Yield.

??????? I need more understanding here. Is she saying that we don’t always need to be first?

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

(TICK) Everyday!!! Be grateful for every precious moment. Live it like your last! (HAHA that is why I have started blogging!!!)

Ticks vs Crosses…………..yes’s vs no’s………. 30- 17

(So at least i have learnt far more then i havent learnt!!!)

Now to deal with the problem. Perhaps if i read this list every week (and you), more of the crosses will change to ticks!!! It would only be better for me and all around!

Where to start?



  1. If I came there for a visit, you me and your hairlady/friend would get on famously. And maybe she can help me with the clown hair Thingy. Your cross and tics are perfect 🙂

  2. […] points, I think this is still “pretty” temporary…… it has an END. (Remember my post yesterday: it mentioned time healing) It moves back into balance once the goal has been accomplished. Right? […]

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