Posted by: The Saffa Mom | November 29, 2010

Accept the things i can not change……..

 “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”


Although I (and I am sure- you) have heard it a million, trillion times…. and realise how logical it really is, it is far easier said than done!!!

Do we all agree?

This weekend, I realised this even more. It just kept coming at me…….. and coming at me….. and coming at me!!!    

1.     MY HAIR

Four weeks ago, I said to my hair lady that I want platinum blond streaks in my black hair. I was convinced… this was my NEXT look!!!! I actually started telling her days before our appointment, so that I could prepare her, and she very realistically prepared me back!!!

There was “no way” that this was going to happen. ….Why? I have been tinting my hair black for four years. We are looking at tint, on tint, on tint…..every 4 weeks… for 4 years. That was WHY!!! We would need to STRIP that, which may take far longer than I have imagined…. and then decide where to go from there. The problem with stripping it, is that I don’t have much hair to begin with. My hair is that fly away, thin hair that desperately needs volume. (In fact, that is one of the reasons why I tint it- it “seems” to add volume).

BUT a small part in me believes that my hair lady will pull through, and I will leave my hair appointment/social……. with platinum blonde streaks.


Two and a half hours later…. and a couple of glasses of wine, and the best chatting ever…. because hair lady and hair colleague are really special people to me, they my girls…….. I leave with many thin streaks, of a coppery/ orangey colour amongst the black.

Over the next 4 weeks, I begin to like it somewhat…… but am excited for the rabbit out of the hat!! My hair lady WILL get it right this time. (Without my hair crumbling into a million pieces).

This weekend we have a scheduled girl’s hair appointment. YAH!!!!!!!

Repeat!!! Peroxide….. wine…… chats!!!  My girls! Oh, and before I forget- chocolate cupcakes covered in Astro’s for Hair lady’s birthday!!

BUT STILL NO rabbit out of the hat!!!

Depression hits me every time I look in the mirror! I have now more orange coppery (which some of the girls are calling red) streaks moving through my hair. The hair closer to my scalp seems to be somewhat blonde, however this hair has never seen the Black Tint that the rest of my hair has. I can just imagine the thoughts people have….. a circus tiger!!!  Dont want to know who her hair dresser is!!! (And i will never change my hair lady!)

My hair...

TO ACCEPT:  it doesn’t matter how much you would like a certain style of hair, or colour of hair….. if your hair cannot do it, your hair cannot do it!!!

Accept that black may just  be my happy colour.

Accept that my hair lady is not a sadist who wants to see me unhappy.

 2.     MY FAMILY

My old family...

To cut a long story short (which I do think I will be blogging about in detail soon soon anyway)…….

My family crumbled two days before Christmas last year. We went from that picture perfect, see each other every Sunday, chat every day…… to…….. a suicidal mom who didn’t know how she would get from day to day; a sister and a brother who wanted to be on the fence and not have to choose a side (I think that they were in shock and definitely didn’t realise that by doing that they WERE CHOOSING A SIDE), and a gran that was praying  every moment for  God to hold the cancer back until our family could deal with it all. Kippie (that would be me!!!) had to be the ever strong pillar, holding what little there was left- up!! Underneath that facade, was  a traumatised 28 year old, who suddenly realised that no one was immune.

My hero was human! And he was happy…. he had a new blonde bokkie on his right arm. (That platinum blonde- the streaks mentioned earlier.)

And now...

This weekend was the 4th time I have seen my dad this year. (It has taken serious prayer to get to this point).  And the 4th time I have met blondie. It was the 1st time I had seen my sister since August (and her brunette bokkie…. everyone has one).

AND most profoundly, the 1st time I had ever sat around a table with my dad, blondie, AND my sister. They were very natural….. looked like they had been doing it since birth!!!

A comment my dad passed was about how HIS two girls were together…. just missing my bro (who subsequently has written my dad off). Now we just needed to get blondie’s two girls!!!


TO ACCEPT: in order for me to have any form of relationship with my dad, I need to know that it will include Blondie. And maybe her kids.

Accept that I now have two families, and my princess who already has two, now has three.

Accept that our hero’s are human!

 3.     MY KNIGHT

Do we think it is necessary to even deal with this one? What do you think?

 TO ACCEPT: It doesn’t matter how many times you may say something, or try and change it, it just may not get you anywhere.  

Accept the fact that they are all the same.

Accept the fact that you cannot convert them. (I could probably think of a few more ACCEPTS ….but I should perhaps hold back……. let me hold back!)



  1. i am sure your hair looks wonderful 🙂 – any hairstyle and colour will suit you. you are a beautiful women…inside and out – you should see your self thru other appreciative eyes 🙂

    as far as your super hero becoming human with the kryptonite – all i can say is that you are a very strong women to have to deal with all of this and be a mom and a sister and a friend and a co-worker and a daughterness 🙂

    sadly it’s not your war to battle in – but to adapt to it logically and obviously know what to expose your princess to 🙂

    if you ever need to just whine and bitch – you got my number (whether you allowed to call me — hahahahha — i am available for your to call and moan to any time)

    • You precious- but you really need to see it!!! Thank you though!!!! You completely right with the battle bit, and how i need to just have boundaries on what princess is exposed to.
      I whine and bitch on here….. see this blog as part therapy!!! Haha. Hoep you well.

  2. I have clown hair, and it really isn’t as lovey as it sounds. I try everyday to accept it for what it is.


    lol, no matter what I do, it always looks like this :/

    • You have made me laugh….. there must be something you can do??? Not hard to manage though? Have a good day!! x

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